Greetings NPC, I am your humble informant for this site. I will basically be rambling on, but mostly it will be concerned with my world and the one's you play in. For those of you who don't quite understand, you can...*10d6 LIGHTNING BOLT NO SAVING THROWS!*
Ahem...yes well, if you haven't figured it out yet, I was once a fictional medium-sized human from the frowned upon world of Dungeons and Dragons. My occupation was once the shady resident gravekeeper of a little town no one's ever heard of. When I was young, a great war befell my lands and my mother and I were hurried to the towns keep, the one that I reside in now. Anyway, at the time it was already centuries old, having been an outpost for a larger city's militia. By this time, it was mostly empty, save the occasional creature that crept into the building. Now it was a makeshift haven for refugees that couldn't fight or were too sick to do so. I was the latter. Now back to the war.
Plain and simply put, our men were slaughtered. Not one was left standing. Our side managed to down a few of the goblins, but barely took out a small bit of their forces. As soon as it began, it ceased. Bodies littered the ground and a blue light was barely visible as it disappeared into the evening. At the time I figured the light was some sort of spell, but now I'm not quite sure. My task afterwards was to bury the bodies, a gruesome task for a boy of thirteen to experience. After awhile, I decided to keep the job, I didn't like it at the time, but I grew to find comfort in the rhythmic movements of the spaded shovel digging into the silted, soft earth of our small village. Soon after the war, my mother died of some strange disease. In regards to my father, I have no regards having never met him, my mother never said what happened to him and wouldn't say if I asked about him.
Having just finished burying my mother, I was walking over to my hut to the side of the graves when from that grave when I heard a kind of moan from the area I was just at. Shovel in hand, I silently returned to the grave with freshly turned earth, my mother's. I saw something coming up from the ground and it was moving a little. As I bent down to inspect the object, it sprang from the ground and leapt away. A toad, nothing more. I retired to my hut and the next year or two passed without too much hassle. I grew older and stronger, due to my very vigorous occupation.
Something quite odd did end up happening though. Making some nightly rounds as I always did I again heard a moan from the opposite side of the yard. Once again, shovel in hand, I went to inspect. Earlier that evening, everything had been in place and as it should have been. Now, something was amiss. The same grave that had been freshly dug exactly two years prior, was now disturbed, with dirt everywhere and a shovel laying on the ground beside a decomposing mass. Suddenly the mass twitched and arose. I instantly realized who it was.
*Dramatic Pause,*
My mother! Dun...dun...dun!
So yeah, I killed her...again. Some might ask how I could do such a thing, but when a dead, rotting, stinky mass of zombie flesh is slowly making it's way for your throat, you kill first and ask questions later. I ended up taking her head clean off her shoulders with what you might call a critical hit to the cranial area. Home Run! Looking back, all I remember is killing, ooze, and right before that a swish of a jewel encrusted cloak into the forest. It was about this time I decided it might be a good idea if I trained a bit incase that guy ever came back I could killanate him to death, or if more formally known as dead stuff came back to life. Which of course ended up happening randomly. One of the times one of the corpses used some kind of life drain on me and I became very sickly for awhile. It was during that time that I grew even paler than normal and my hair lost all color. Eventually I made a full recovery and was back to throwing dead people into the ground in no time.
Later on, when I was digging a fresh grave for a freshly deceased person, I came across a fist-sized, purple glowing orb. I took it to a large trade city up north and had a wizard identify the sphere. It was an orb of animate dead. Whenever the owner of the orb wanted to, he just activated it and a random body popped out of the ground, which I then killed. I asked the man if he could identify the owner of the item, but he was unable to do so.
After awhile I moved form my hut and began repairing the old keep as a sort of fixer-upper. Recently, life has been fairly quiet since the undead have stopped trying to kill me in my sleep. Although I've had to keep my eye on this one shifty-looking rogue and a clumsy gnome who was visiting the old man up on the hill, and broke his harp. A few days ago, I caught some gossip of a dwarf and a human coming down the river towards our quaint little village. Wonder what's going to go down...
Yep, that's pretty much my life up to this point. I'll tell you what happened shortly after explaining to you all that. When the two guys got here and joined up with the rogue and the gnome and went into the shrine on top of the hill. A few hours later, the thing starts crumbling and I had to go help dig them out, the only weird thing now is that there was a fifth guy with them, a half-dragon he ended up being and the same blue light I had seen earlier in my life. Shortly after that, the dragon guy charged the forest. Wondering what he was charging at, I climbed to the top of my keep and looked. A whole freakin' army of goblins! The same one's that destroyed the village about twenty years ago apparently. I ended up fighting, and killing quite a few of them that had snuck around the town and eluded the dragon guy's company. Eventually, there were too many and everyone made a break for it, the dwarf giving his life in the process. Upon burying him, some kind of symbol came from his grave to my eye and stayed there. Personally, I think it looks cool. I also got entwined somehow into the dragon guy's party and will be leaving with them for whatever reason. I already took the liberty to get a new gravekeeper for while I'm away. Oh, and I reburied the purple orb, just to screw with the kid.
Basically, this site will be updated once in a while when I have time on my travels to write. I guess that's all for now.
-Lynge the Gravekeeper, Kicker of @55
UPDATES
Well, my adventure a strange one. I know you could really care less, but I'm assuming you would be reading this because you're being made to by some awful force. Since you have to, I might as well make you work for it.
Below are a list of facts that can be found on the internet. They will all add up to make a secret phrase. Yeah I know. Exciting isn't it? Send me the phrase to me at shsweb@comcast.net and in the subject put "Lynge is my Homie". If you don't your answers will be marked wrong. Yep, all that hard work...WASTED! *Evil laugh.*
Yes, all of them are out there so don't whine and complain that you can't find them. Be a man. And if you're a woman, call me at....
QUESTIONS
In battle, bishops were not allowed to draw blood, so this was used to get around that.
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You can start fire with this most unlikely of sources.
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Jimmy Hoffa’s middle name was this.
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This country has more bagpipe bands than Scotland.
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Jousting is this state’s sport.
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This slow, diminutive animal can sleep for three years.
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This is the strongest muscle in the body.
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This is the only animal that cannot jump.
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This little pest cannot vomit, which is why poison works on it.
|_| _ _Coca-Cola is this color without coloring.
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This storm is the biggest in our galaxy.
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What color is the black box on an airplane?
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A league is roughly this distance.
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This is the fear of long words.
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More redheads are born in this country than in any other part of the world.
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After you've finished, write the boxed letters in a row and find the three words made out of them. Do not mix the letters up. Then send it to me at the stated address above the questions and get ready for your fabulous prize! >_>